Even innocuous or seemingly good things like friends and family would become idols if they stopped me from fully worshipping God. Full surrender can’t happen later or when I feel ready, it needs to be now or not at all.
I didn’t expect to be paid by the church for my time, and perhaps, in return, there was an unspoken agreement that the church would not have expectations of me. I would go on contributing as my schedule allowed, popping in to surprise the church staff with some extra hands when inspired.
I think I want to do meaningful work. “Kingdom work” that worships God, advances the gospel, loves the church, and ministers to others is eternally meaningful. But am I too afraid of failure to actually give it my all?